4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she looked like the before picture.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
