capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ttyl tear gas
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
