dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
