Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
