the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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