Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
