We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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