I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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