I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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