Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
