I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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