TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
