I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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