People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
