it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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