i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
