I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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