check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I should be sponsored by Trojan
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
