I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
