My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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