U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This toilet bowl is my home.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
