if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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