Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
