i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
