He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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