FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
honey bunches of taint.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
