i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
