Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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