There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
