there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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