question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
