She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's like iHOP with fire
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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