Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize