Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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