does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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