I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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