I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
