I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I understand Curling. That high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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