Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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