just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My dick has a subreddit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
