I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
