...so i touched it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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