so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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