I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
