Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it glows. i had to have it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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