just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
