i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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