Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize