I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
