Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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