We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
