i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
false alarm. still invincible.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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