wanna go halves on a baby?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
