You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
