I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
