Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
