So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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