You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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