There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
