i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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