It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
